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By Allie Windergerst Aug 20, 2013
A Lesson On Fitting In: How I Became a “Sorority Girl”
I remember when that “deranged sorority girl” email came out last semester; I was amazed that a real person actually had the capacity to speak to other that way, and with such improper grammar and spelling! (you can find it here if you haven’t read it, but it’s not for the faint of heart). On a more serious note, I was mostly disappointed that yet another individual perpetuated the already negative criticism and stereotypes that are untrue about the vast majority of Greek Life.
If you’d asked me a year ago if I’d be writing this, I’d have told you “you’re crazy”. I’d always looked at sororities and immediately determined that it wouldn’t be “my thing” without much thought into what it actually entails, and maybe with a little bit of prejudice due to the stereotypes that I mentioned above (which was all I had to go off of, since students on campus that aren’t involved in fraternities or sororities typically perpetuate the same ones). But I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I never went through formal recruitment; it sounded extremely overwhelming and always happened the same week that I had debate team obligations. I was pretty hesitant to go through informal recruitment my sophomore year. It was intimidating; I was (am) the “debate nerd,” and I always figured I wouldn’t fit in among a large group of girls.
I may or may not have been envisioning a Mean Girls “you can’t sit with us” like situation.
I expected to walk into the room, talk to people, and immediately be judged for my outfit/appearance/major/extracurriculars, etc. And I’m sure that to some extent, I was. But for the most part, my expectations—of my own capacity to fit in, and my fears of how I’d be treated by the girls I met—couldn’t have been more far off.
I wandered around the room completely clueless. I didn’t know who I was supposed to talk to or if there was some system or order to it (because informal recruitment is not nearly as structured as formal recruitment). I was overwhelmed, so I can’t imagine what formal recruitment is like for girls who are rushing, although I’ve heard it’s a fun and enjoyable experience overall. I ended up stopping at a few tables before giving up and preparing to leave; I felt like my reservations were confirmed when I talked to a girl who was clearly disinterested in talking to me and was prepared to deem things a lost cause.
On my way out I decided to stop by the table nearest the door. There weren’t an overwhelming amount of girls stopping there at that time, so I decided to check it out. I was interested in their philanthropy—breast cancer awareness and education—because I’ve had family members affected by it and I don’t know a single person that doesn’t at least know of someone close to someone they know that’s affected by it.
I walked into that room expecting to be turned away and to confirm all of my pessimistic expectations. I walked out weeks later with new friends—some of the nicest people I’ve ever met, a new “family,” and a new home away from home.
Most importantly, I learned a valuable lesson—to not judge a book by its cover. My sisters have many different majors and personalities. They don’t all look the same. They’re involved in many different activities and groups besides just our sorority, and they respect the fact that we all have other interests besides the ones we have in common. They understand that academics are important, and encourage each other to succeed. They are fun, nice, caring, and enjoy giving back. In short: they are nothing like, and so much more than the stereotypical “sorority girl” image that many people envision and perpetuate.
Many Universities have already had their formal recruitment for the fall semester, but for the University of Iowa, preparations are still occurring, and events start in a couple weeks. If I could offer a single piece of advice to any girl considering rushing who is on the fence, it would be this: give it a shot, even if you’re a little worried that you won’t find a place to fit in, because there are a lot of different houses with different people and if you stay open-minded and ignore possible bias, you’ll most likely find a place where you fit in, and maybe surprise yourself in the process.
